Hello? Hello, hello? Uhh, I wanted to record a message for you… to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm… finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact, so… I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I’m here to tell you: there’s nothing to worry about. Uh, you’ll do fine! So… let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?

(Incidentally, he only made it to about 3am :P)