"So how about this view?"

initially made for valentines, this piece was a bit of an emotional ride for me. for one, it was drafted on FEBUARY. it was to showcase the deep bonds these characters have made, regardless if cannon or not, regardless if one was more suited for the other, regardless if it all goes ape-s[er]t. it got pushed back to NATG 2021, and then finally here. apart from the breaks i took, it was also because i really had no idea how to not only make the piece anatomically right as possible via show standards, but as well as colors and the fear of screwing it up via traditional. i wanted this piece done by hand, not by digital magic. and, well… you can spend about $50 worth of color pencils, spend more than a day's worth on working the piece out, and demonstrate your updated skills from last previous runs, but art really is just an expensive hobby for me.

yes, mistakes are littered around here. aside lighting, colors often blend with each other, pen marks are noticeable, cat scratch on one spot, and… its not perfect. its not a piece crafted by some artist who has more understanding on how a piece is made with technical pens and gouache at the ready, not a piece that screams mastery, little alone one that demands attention.

its not perfect. just like me. just like these characters. and i love that. yeah, im still disappointed over it, but honestly, apart from being frustrated with it by my stupid mistakes, why in blood's name do i need to worry? i am passionate about what i do, but i dont want to make it to the top in art. nor even in my other things like music, running and stuff. i want to be in a good place that i can be proud of, no matter if it isnt desirable by others.

i could be saying a lot more about the characters here, but ive said all that ive had in my mind these past 2 years. i enjoy them. the potential they had. just like me. perhaps the way we stand is fine for now.

but really, digital really made me soft compared to traditional. blood.