Felix wasn’t sure why Moony had insisted they sneak out to talk in the middle of the night —oh, not the talking outside in the middle of the night, that was par for the course for them. No, it was the sneaking bit; ever since they actually became adults they stopped that, and just walked out. What are their parents going to do, ground them?

But no, tonight Moony wanted it to be a secret. For some reason.

They'd walked to one of Sweet Apple Acres' more remote orchards and sat down. It was a perfect secret meeting place they'd often used before in their escapades; not quite wilderness where dangerous animals and monsters roamed, yet far enough away from civilization that it was extremely unlikely someone would hear them or stumble across them by accident.

Moony rested her back against the rough bark of the tree, while Felix settled down in the grass next to her. It was early summer and just warm enough that they didn't need any clothes. The air smelled sweet of apples which would be much too early if it wasn't for the magic of the apple family saturating the grounds.

"Mind telling me who we're doing this in secret?" Felix asked as he got comfortable. "Do I need to help bury a body or something? I haven't brought a shovel."

"Oh, ha ha." Moony rolled her eyes as she too shifted against the bark until she found a comfortable resting position. "Very funny. No, but it is a bit… I don't want my parents to check up on us and overhear." But he could see her suppressing a grin as she said it.

That was a bit intriguing. Not the fact that her parents checked up on her; he'd caught guards following them a few times as they left. But he had no idea what was so important Moony couldn't risk her moms figuring it out?

Or maybe just not risk her parents ruining a moment? She seemed to be an odd mix of excited, happy and afraid.

Actually, this might be good. He had been planning how to get privacy enough to ask her… and this seemed like as good a time as any. He just had to work up the courage—

No, Felix; if you wait for that, you'll never do it. You just have to dive in before you can freak yourself out. "Actually, I have something to say too." There, now he had to continue.

Moony raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh? Do tell.”

"No, you asked to meet, you go first." He grinned at her, and poked her hoof with a claw. "No stalling now."

She smiled and poked his arm back. He sat up, and poked her shoulder. She poked his head. A minor poking war erupted until Moony reigned victorious by licking him right before he poked her cheek.

"Ew," Felix groaned and wiped it off on his mane. "Fine, you win this -but you're still gonna have to start talking."

"Victory!" She pumped her hooves in the air, and settled back against the tree with a satisfied smirk. It gave her a dimple on one cheek; he'd noticed some time back that she only had one for some reason. It was cute. "And yeah, alright."

She took a deep breath, and the air suddenly grew very, very serious. Felix tensed in confusion.

"You know how I've been applying to universities?" she asked. Felix nodded; of course he did, he'd helped proofread some of them.

"Well, I've been getting some acceptance letters," Moony continued. "Including one that, well…" She trailed off, a bit flustered. "I didn't tell you about it. A university I applied for I mean.

Felix wasn't sure if he was surprised or not. He'd known she'd applied to two in Canterlot and one in the Crystal Empire, and he had been thinking that that had been very few. More applications wasn't that shocking; just the fact that she felt she had to hide it from him. He wasn't upset about it, just a bit confused.

Moony wasn't done being flustered about not telling him about it though. "I'm really sorry for not telling you! I mean, it was a bit on an impulse thing, but it's been moons since then and I should have told you, but the longer I waited the bigger it got and just kept putting it off and-"

"Hey!" Felix put a claw on her shoulder. "It's okay. You're allowed to not tell me everything, you know?"

He felt her take a few deep breaths as his claw rose with each shudder of her shoulders. "…even if they're… really big secrets?" She finally asked, quitely.

"I… I'm not gonna lie and say I wouldn't be a bit hurt I guess? But that doesn't mean it's wrong, just that emotions are dumb sometimes. You're allowed to have secrets." Felix said, carefully. Moony's moms were so overprotective -especially Twilight- that he supposed noone ever really told her that. Then again… "I mean, we have secrets from our parents all the time?" Then again, that was a bit different. He knew Moony had hangups about being a good friend, so maybe that's why this was so important.

"That doesn't count. They're my moms, not you." Yup, nailed it.

"Anyway. I'm not upset, Moony." He paused for a second. "And I mean, I have secrets too, so we're even." Though, if things went as planned, one of them wouldn't be much longer…

Though, that brought his thoughts back to what she had said while they were here. "Why were you keeping them a secret thought? Are you planning on studying something else? Something your moms won't like?" He snapped his claws. "Oh, I know! Interpretive dance. I can see it now -you'll need to get a spandex body suit though. I'm sure Rarity can make it; pink with blue stripes, to accentuate your mane colors. Yes, you'll look stunning as you dance the inner struggle of A Hearth's Warming Tale. So moving, such emotions you'll portray."

As he spoke, Moony broke out into a grin again, and laughed as he tried to up the ridiculousness. He blushed and smiled back at her; he hoped she didn't see the color of his face in the darkness. He really shouldn't have imagined her in a spandex suit.

Her laughter died after a few seconds, taking the atmosphere with it. "Thank you for trying to cheer me up Felix. But it's a bit…" She sighed. Felix braced himself. "… the university is in Manehattan. If I accept, I'll have to leave."

Oh.

Oh no.

Blood rushed through his ears, and he felt the fur on his back and tail rise in fear. He knew she would eventually leave, she always said she wanted to, but he'd been hoping-

She had planned to go to Canterlot! Apartments were impossible to get, so she’d stay with her grandparents and he knew them. And he could visit Canterlot; it was hard, but he'd been there before and there were guards everywhere to ask for help, and the princesses were there, and— it was less than an hour by train, he could still visit and she could come home or—

Or the Crystal Empire! It was further away, but he'd spent even more time there than Canterlot, and he knew a lot of Moony's cousins and family, and it was smaller and less ponies lived there, so it was easier. He could travel to the Empire to spend a few weeks now and again, and they had a telephone in the castle so Moony and he could talk, and- and—

Manehattan was— it was so big- and- and so crowded and he's only seen it once in passing, and he didn't know anyone, and it was so far away and he'd have to stay nights and, people got robbed in Manehattan all the time! There almost weren't any guards at all. It was dangerous and- and he'd have to take such a long train -oh, Manehattan's train station was famous for being so big how would he how would — and she'd be so far away, she'd never come home to visit. But he couldn't- he couldn't go—

"Felix!" Moony's hoof on his shoulder made him realise he was spiraling. With a gasp, he took a deep breath that filled his aching lungs with spikes of pain. He gulped one more down, then another. He managed to keep himself from taking one more, remembering to count between each shuddering breath to avoid cramping.

"Okay, you're okay." Moony rubbed soft circles on his back as he kept trying to get his breathing under control.

The orchard was silent except for a few chirps of a cricket somewhere; Felix tried to focus on the sound of it as he calmed down and breathed more and more normally. It took some time -how long he wasn't sure- and he was grateful that Moony didn't stop the gentle circles on his back during. It felt grounding.

"I'm okay," he finally said, and took her hoof of off him. "We can continue, I'm okay." He must admit that he was a little embarrassed over reacting so strongly to just her telling him.

"I want to accept it," Moony admitted, softly. "To get away where people don't know me. And I thought Manehattan would be… I mean, they don't care about anyone there."

She reached out again, and put a hoof on his claw. "But not if it hurts you that much. I don't want to leve you behind." Her eyes were so soft as she stared at him. "I can wait; I'll go to Canterlot, and maybe we can, I don't know, visit Manehattan or wherever is best, and get used to being there? So once I'm finished with my studies, it'll be easier for you to visit? Um, we could also try again to find a therapist if you want! I'll see someone -but you'll have to come with me the first few times- and we'll all figure it out together, okay? Not that you have to find a new therapist if you don't want to! I just-"

And now she was babbling. Felix felt tears prick in his eyes, and he blinked them away. Moony already felt bad enough over something that wasn't-

"But you want to go?" He managed to ask. He took her hoof and held it between his claws, stroking the smooth surface with a thumb absentmindedly. "If you stop thinking of me, please just— do you want to go?"

"…yeah, I do." She confessed, her eyes tired. "I just… I feel like I'm not getting anywhere Felix, Not like, in life, but just… I keep stomping on the same spot."

She gave him a slightly pleading look. "I love you and my family here, I do, but it's so… so easy to be stuck here. I have a comfortable home in the castle, I don't have to work to survive, so I can do whatever I want! I have food, hobbies, I have you and my moms for company…" Her eyes hardened. "And it makes me feel like- like a pet. It's too easy, and too comfortable, and too… little."

His head started to drop, so she leaned forward to catch his eyes. Her stare was hard and serious, and transfixed him in place. “But I can take a slow leave. Canterlot still means working hard and meeting new people and— it’s enough Felix, I can wait for more if you need me to stay closer.”

Getting into Manehattan University was so hard, this was probably her one change to get it. And if she was seriously considering going, she must have gotten a student apartment or dorm room as part of it. Decent Manehattan apartments were just as hard to get as in Canterlot, moving there without the student accommodations would take years more of waiting in renting queues or paying so much to buy one, and…

And she wanted to go. She wanted to go and the only reason she thought of not doing it was… him.

He couldn’t do that to her. He couldn't ask her to stay, just for him.

“You should go then.” He decided, and tried to keep his voice steady. “If that’s what you really want to do, you shouldn’t pass it up.”

“But, what about—”

He reached out and squeezed her hoof. “I’ll figure something out, yeah? I know I reacted strongly now, but it really was mostly just surprise." Keep going before she has a chance to refute— "It’ll be alright, I promise.”

She stared into his eyes for a few seconds, and he tried his best to radiate reassurance. He must have succeeded, because she threw her hooves around him, and hugged him tightly.

“It will be alright,” she sniffed beside his ear. “We’ll write letters, and I’ll look for a payment telephone somewhere so we can talk, and- and you can come visit anytime you want and stay in my apartment, okay?”

He nodded into her neck and hugged her back as tight as he could.

As she squeezed him even tighter somehow, it occurred to him that he hadn’t had the chance to say…


Now it was too late though.


——-


Moonstone sat on the train, waiting for it to leave. It was a window seat on the west side of the train, so she should have the majority of the ride without the sun glaring into her face. Spike settled into the seat beside her, already pulling out his book.

“We haven’t even left the station yet,” she grumped at him. “You can’t wait two minutes?”

“Nope,” he answered, popping the word. “I left off right before a big revelation was about to happen, and I need to find out what was going on with the mysterious stranger that’s been helping them.”

“Bet you it’s either one of them’s long lost parent or a love interest.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Spike mumbled, already sucked into the story. ‘

Moony sighed and rolled her eyes. Seriously, her moms thought Spike was supposed to keep an eye on her? She’d have to spend the entire trip making sure he actually ate food and not just gems, and then not stay up the entire night reading when they stayed at her new apartment.

Though she was happy they did think that; Spike was a lot more chill than them about this. Her moms had gone with her to set up the apartment, check out the university and so on -and also buying her literally all the textbooks she was going to need the entire time she was there. Not to mention talking with campus security behind her back and setting up a —technically against the rules- magical alarm system on her doors and windows that alerted the police directly if triggered; the apartments already had security systems and students weren’t allowed to tamper with them. If she got a fine, she was forwarding it home.

She’d been dreading them coming with her again to the actual school start. So it really was lucky that they somehow accepted her going with just Spike —even if she could have gone by herself. Whatever; it’d be fun to have some one-on-one time with Spike in Manehattan. If she knew him right, he probably had a ton of stuff for them to check out now that Mama Twi wasn’t hovering over their shoulders.

For now, he kept his nose buried in the book though. She slumped down with a sigh.

A sudden “tonk” of something hitting the window made her jump, and sit up straight again.

Her moms were standing on the other platform, waving like madmares. She smiled despite herself; she complained a lot, but she did love them. They were just a bit much; sometimes in a bad way, and sometimes -like now, when Mama Twi kept shooting small fireworks from her horn and Mama Rarity waved with a napkin like she came out of a history book- in a great way.

So she knocked back and waved at them too, making them jump and wave even more. They were in the center of attention, but neither seemed to care; a testament to how important this was to Mama Rarity, Moonstone knew.

With a loud whistle and a jerk, the train began to slowly pull away from the station. The two mares finally stopped waving frantically, and instead moved closer to each other. Mama Twi put her head on Mama Rarity’s, and Moonstone could see their tear filled smiles. She mouthed an I-Love-you at them, and hoped they saw it through the window.

Just as they were about to disappear from view, Moonstone saw someone standing a bit behind them.

Felix just had time to raise a claw in farewell, before the train picked up speed and left the station.