The Easter Bunny Doesn’t Really Make Sense Either When You Think About It

Derpy yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, coming out of her dream. She couldn't remember what it had been about, only that it had been weird. Not a bad kind of weird, just weird.

Speaking of weird, there was something in her bed. She could feel it roll around when she moved. She threw the blanket off and sat up. Looking down, she could see a shiny off white… blob? Her vision was still blurry, so she couldn't tell what it was, only that it hadn't been there when she went to bed.

"MOOOM!" Derpy yelled.

Upon realizing the thing wasn't going to jump at her or something, she picked up the strange hard object in her hooves. Having it up close made it easier for her eyes to adjust. As her vision slowly came into focus, it only brought more questions.

"Mooom!" she called again. "Is today Easter?"

"Mom left for work," the muffled voice of a stallion came from behind her bedroom door. "What is it, sweetie?"

"Daaad!" Derpy yelled (despite not needing to anymore). "Somepony left a weird egg!"

The door opened with a creak. A still sleepy stallion stood in the doorway.

"What… oh, muffin!"

"It's really warm too…" Derpy said, turning to her dad. Just from the look on her face, one could tell she was full of questions. "Why would somepony leave this in my bed?" she continued, offering the spotted ivory egg to him. "Look."

He could only smile at her. Instead of accepting the offer, he gently guided her hooves down to nest it in the bunched up blanket. It was a safe place to put it down — where it wouldn't roll off. Then he sat down next to her.

"Come here," he said as he picked her up in his arms and pulled her in for a big hug. "Muffin, do you remember that talk you had with mom? You know… about growing up?"

"Oh yeah!" Derpy said. "She um… she said big fillies sometimes… poop out eggs? I don't get it."

He rolled his eyes at her, but thankfully Derpy couldn't see it, tightly squished against his barrel as she was. Bless her, he thought.

"I think you used some different words there," he said. "I uh- I probably can’t explain it as well as mom but"

"Wait, so did I make it?" Derpy interrupted. "I was sleeping."


"You sure did!" he said, quietly relieved he wasn't going to have to go through the entire talk with her. She wasn’t slow her train of thought just sometimes took the scenic route. He hugged her a little tighter still, if it was possible. She was so precious.

"I'm so proud of you and mom's going to be super proud too when you show her later. It's a really special day for you."

"It's really pretty. How did I even make that?" Derpy said.

Her dad felt sweat begin to bead up on his forehead. “Well, um…” he began.

"Hey, so am I a big filly now?" Derpy interrupted again and her dad breathed another sigh of relief. Derpy squirmed in his arms to look at her flank with excitement, which quickly turned to a frown upon realizing it was still blank.

"You're a bigger filly now," her dad consoled her. "It just means you're growing up."

"Huh." Derpy said simply. Things were coming at her faster than she could puzzle them together. But dad wasn't worried, so there was no reason for her to worry either. What a weird morning it had been and she had only just woken up!

"So, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I think so." Derpy said. She then thought for a while. "My tummy feels weird and my… umm… butt is kinda sore."

"You can have some medicine if you're feeling sore. It'll get better soon," he said and brushed her mane lightly. "Don't worry about a thing, you don't have to go to school today." He gave her one more hearty hug and set her back down to sit on the bed.

"I uh-," Derpy stuttered, suddenly feeling how damp her rear end was. "Did I pee the bed again?" Her cheeks blushed a rosy red when she looked at the wet stains on the sheets. "I didn't even notice… sorry."

"It's not pee, it's uh…” her dad said, suddenly finding the opposite wall very interesting to look at. “Well, it’s not pee. It’s all normal, happens to everyfilly.” He looked at his daughter, who was just blankly looking back at him, mouth half open. She had questions she didn’t have words for, much like him not having the willpower to explain. So he continued: “Remember that talk you had with mom again? She already got some of those special undies for you to wear, you can put those on after you wash up."

Sweet Celestia, please save the rest of these questions for mom, he thought, despite being happy he could be there.

"Oh. Okay," Derpy said like only somefilly who had no idea what was going on could. It was good to know she hadn’t wet the bed and while she didn’t really understand what the not-pee was about, she was happy to know it wasn’t a bad thing – because she was still not-peeing a little. Maybe mom could explain it later. It was kind of embarrassing to go through this with dad, but at the same time she was really happy he was there.

She looked him in the eyes. "I'm really confused."

"Me too," he said. "It's alright, muffin. I love you so very much."

"I love you too, dad." She leaned against him, quickly getting wrapped up in another big hug. Everything was confusing, but dad was there so it was alright. Just like any other day.

They remained like that for a while, until eventually her dad spoke:

"You should go wash up now," he said, picking her up by the barrel. "I'll take care of the sheets and make us some breakfast."

"Alright!" Derpy chirped happily. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before he let her down on the floor. She trotted out a few steps, but stopped at the doorway to look back at him.

"Pancakes."

"What?"

"Pancakes," Derpy repeated. She was absolutely beaming. "Can we have pancakes for breakfast?"

***

And she still does it! Some things never change (explicit).

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