Lets Talk About 'How It All Began (Final Update + Corrections to Art)

I know you guys have been so excited, and have been waiting for a while for updates but this will be probably the one and only which is the fact that the TwiDash comic might be permanently cancelled. I haven't been able to get in touch with the writer for a while now, which hasn't entirely been my fault as progress on the comic originally was slowed due to the fact I was still in school (high-school I believe) during the time I took in this project.

I also did struggle alot with my mental health and emotional well-being over the years during the time for a number of reasons primarily on my at home situations. It wasn't always bad but to cover all bases is just to say it was more or so unstable. The experiences I went through though did cause issues and I do have some obviously unresolved trauma so I do plan on possibily one day seeing a therapist to help me out a bit. I don't talk about home as much anymore as I don't have any reason to as the only ones who know about it are those close to me/ seen it's effects on me/ experienced it too, but did contribute to the failed project of 'How It All Began'.

I have moved away, or more so kinda ran off from home since November 2020 which was done in secrecy to keep myself and those who helped me flee safe due to threats that were made by my mother's toxic boyfriend. I don't want to get into more detail about it though, as it treads the lines of trauma dumping, which I feel would be rather inappropriate. I am just happy I found a safe place as I didn't feel safe at home to say the least (in regards to the more recent situation I was in before I left).

I have been doing alot better ever since I moved as I am alot less depressed, even if I have my occassional bad days. I am gonna spare some of the details since some of it revolves around sewerslidal thoughts and ideation. I'm not diagnosed (yet) but I am pretty sure I still deal with multiple forms of anxiety, which have become moderately manageable, but again sometimes I have my bad days. I have broken some of my habits that I developed throughout the years, and have been doing a bit better with communication even if I still have my difficulties. I don't bottle up as much I use to, feelings and why are still hard to describe sometimes though (alexithymia). I still can't handle stress very well or things like someone raising their voice at me as I'm sensitive to tone, harsh criticism, etc but I'm working on it. It's just been a process to get better as I am not going to talk about all of it but I'm getting there slowly even if I recovered physically in the sense that I am now a healthy weight as I was considered underweight (I didn't know I was until a conversation regarding arose between me, my partner and his mother after my father made a comment regarding me putting on weight) but it's just the mental/ emotional stuff that's taken the longest.

I know it seems kind of irrelevant to the comic but is something that heavily impacted my ability to work as I did struggle to communicate or stay in touch with the writer. I know I probably should of tried harder to but it is what it is I guess as there's nothing I can really do about it now. It's a skill I'm aiming to improve as I have been doing better with it like I previously mentioned, even if I find it easier to talk to others through text rather than I'm voice communication or in person. I am hoping possibly one day there is a chance I can maybe get in touch with the writer now that I am in a better healthier enviroment and have been doing alot better overall, but if not, I may see if I can find someone who is willing to write me a script for a TwiDash comic so I can create something in replacement to what I loss.

Other factors that contributed to the failure of this comic also stemmed from even things like being heavily criticized for being on my devices (ex art tablet) for 'too long' or 'too much' as it was always seen as a 'problem'. This is just one of the many things I had to deal with especially before I eventually left home entirely, but also impacted my ability to create. It's not like it wasn't known that I took art commissions, so I don't understand the logic behind it as it's rather unavoidable to be on my art tablet for a few hours or more at a time in order to make progress. It did impact my ability to stay motivated on anything art related as well as another hobby of mine as I am also into gaming. Eventually I just lost my ability to enjoy these hobbies, and I started heavily struggling to keep motivated under the pressures at home. It got so bad I couldn't keep up with it and declined in productivity to the point I was barely able to draw or otherwise just stopped drawing altogether.

This went hand and hand with my declining mental health as I've struggled with thoughts and ideation before, but I was at a new low by the time I decided to leave (even though I couldn't really leave any sooner). I don't think I would of been still here if I didn't. My motivation is still finicky, which is why I'm not super active, but it too is a process that is slowly improving with time. I just sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this had caused though as people of course have the right to be disappointed or upset with me, it's valid. I am not looking for sympathy or pity, as this is just an explanation to everything that's been going on with me during the years.

But for the time being, I will be focusing on other projects such as the commissioned NSFW comic 'What Goes Around, Cums Around', as production is hopefully to start at the end of April due to the fact I am currently in the process of moving.

This is my update to you guys, again, I apologize for the inconvenience and I will be back to posting soon.

Thank you for reading ♡