Earth ponies can't ride a bicycle.
Earth ponies can't play a piano.
Earth ponies can't cook food.
Earth ponies can't use a phone.
Earth ponies can't masturbate.
Earth ponies CAN play basketball.
Earth ponies CAN do fisting.
Earth ponies CAN smash a cabbage.
Earth ponies CAN depend on you.
That's why you depend on them.
...
Earth ponies. Liveing to your fullest. (TM)