Donnie: Uh… what's going ON! (Snips and Snails carry him across the deck and dump him on the stage, then Snails runs off) Snip, Snails, what is the meaning of this?
Snips: Your doing the Ukulele karaoke, right?
Donnie: No. I was relaxing until you two dropped me here! Besides, I don't even have a-
Snips: (hands him a piece of paper and a microphone) Your lyrics! Snails, bring in the props!
Snails: (pushes out cardboard a palm tree, a tiki lamp, and volcano) Waikiki! (Drops a fan near him) Your island breeze, Donnie!
Donnie: Hold on! I'm completely unprepared to do a solo!
Snips: Your backup singers!
(Derpy, Desert Sage, and Lyra come in)
Donnie: Look, this is more Mikey's thing.
Snails: You know what they say: The Show Must Go On! (To the girls) That's your cue!
(Derpy beats a bongo, while Desert Sage and Lyra play ukuleles. Desert Sage taps her foot to the rhythm)
Donnie: But-
Snips: Just go follow along, you'll be fine. (He and Snails walk off)
[Desert Sage, Lyra, and Derpy]
Lance the Turtle!
Aloha, Lance!
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Lance the Turtle!
Aloha, Lance!
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
[Donnie]
Well, I keep a little turtle at my Uncle and my Aunt's
My auntie's name is Myrtle, and my island turtle's name is Lance
He doesn't wander far, even if he has a chance
He just plays his ukulele and he does the hula dance! What?
[Desert Sage, Lyra, and Derpy]
Lance the Turtle! Aloha, Lance!
(Mikey dances in, doing a hula dance, while wearing a grass skirt)
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Lance the Turtle!
Aloha, Lance!
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
[Donnie]
He threw a luau barbeque one breezy summer night.
(Snails turns on the fan)
Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite.
The turtles started walking there as Lance began to swing.
The one who lived across the street arrived there in the Spring!
Donnie: (speaking) Oh, I get it! Turtles are perceived as slow, so it took him a long time. That's pretty good!
[Desert Sage, Lyra, and Derpy]
Lance the Turtle!
Aloha, Lance!
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
[Donnie]
But Lance just kept on cooking, he was grilling full of glee!
He was marinating ribs cause he liked-
(While dancing, his lyrics are accidently shredded through the fan)
Donnie: Uh… (reading pieces of lyrics) "Syrup with his feta cheese?" I-I'm sorry, I- (Snips and Snails tape up lyrics and give them to Donnie) Lance's purple turtle shell has ketchup if you please. Pineapples are shiny! Spotted tiki bumblebees?! Oh, man!
[Desert Sage, Lyra, and Derpy]
Lance the Turtle!
Aloha, Lance!
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Donnie: Wait a minute, guys. I don't think this is right. It doesn't make any sense!
Snails: It works for us! Ha-ha!
Donnie: But-
Snips: The song! The song!
Uh… There are luscious chocolate fingers, spinning slowly in the school. Mele Kalikimaka. Fluffy bunnies driving in the pool! Uh, Mikey?! A thousand igloos wax the beach, spray luggage in the tree! Raining puppies, flying clowns. Flossing punahele- (comes to a realization) Wait? Mikey, is this another one of your pranks?!
Mikey: (still hula dancing) All I can say to that is… Dr Pranknstein for the win! (Runs off laughing)
Donnie: (chases after him) MIKEY!
[Snails]
Oh-ho!
Alpaca sneezes coconuts!
Tahini yo-yo leg!
Wahine whisky jelly sauce, don't make the fuzzy parrot beg!
[Snips]
Paper, plastic porcupines!
The horsey makes his bed!
The humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apua'ua wasn't fed!
[Snips, Snails, Desert Sage, Lyran and Derpy]
Lance the Turtle!
Aloha, Lance!
Lance the Turtle, dance-dance-dance!
Lance the Turtle! Aloha,
Lance!
Lance the Turtle!
[Desert Sage, Lyra, and Derpy]
Dance-dance-dance!
TriviaRob Paulson voiced Mr Beet in Beauty and the Beet special and voiced Ichabeezer, Bacon Bill, and Motato in Veggie Tales in the House.