We never asked for this.

And really, how could we?

To this day, there are people who think this all started as a joke. That it was never meant to be anything but that. I can't exactly say I blame them. I've been on this planet for 30 years and for 20 of them, My Little Pony was not something that people liked in order to be "cool." If anything, the opposite was true; it was something that people sought to get away from as fast as possible. It was something for girls to play pretend with when they were young and for their parents to embarrass them with when they were old enough to reflect.

This fandom never had to happen. There was no reason for it to exist. The franchise in question was, by every definition of the world, uncool. So uncool that it was fated to be relegated to a single thread on the /co/ board of a half forgotten website.

But there was something that we didn't know at the time and can only really appreciate now after the lights have gone out: it was insanely creative and incredibly sincere.


You are looking at this picture because I never became a business major. When I first got to Michigan (the Dearborn campus, but still), that was the plan laid out for me. I was going to go in and emerge a few years later with a degree that I didn't particularly care to get and was only pursuing it because I told it was the only way to get a job with a decent starting salary.

As I always say, the real world is not as accommodating as we'd like it to be. I soon found myself taking classes that were in no way related to my degree and constantly falling behind in the ones that were. After three years or so of pretending, I was finally forced to make a change. And that's how I ended up turning away from a possibly lucrative career in some kind of corporation to the person writing this missive: a nearly 30 year old PoliSci graduate with enough retained knowledge to allow him to show up just about anyone on Twitter (up to and including the current President of the United States) and not much more.

I don't remember much about those days. Bits and pieces come back to me on occasion. I remember the drive in the morning, my car barely holding itself together on the cratered slabs of pavement that the Michigan DOT calls "roads." I remember hours spent in classrooms, sometimes engaged with the material and sometimes not. I remember grabbing the most unhealthy foods possible for lunch and spending a good hour or so by myself in the upper floors of the library, going over legal briefs for an upcoming exam or writing a term paper that wasn't going to be due for another week or so.

I remember sitting in a beanbag chair, reading a MLP crossover with Inception while Hans Zimmer's glorious soundtrack blared in my headphones. I remember rushing to the nearest available computer lab between classes to catch the drawfriend on Equestria daily. I remember staying up to an hour after my last class because it had been a hell of a day and I needed to go to Equestria to de-stress. I remember driving home from my late night Marketing class, Odyssey Eurobeat echoing out of the windows of my car and onto the streets of Detroit as the Moon hung in the night sky.

Everything eventually fades, but Equestria remains.


The appeal of the show at first was that it was exactly not what I was expecting. When my friend decided to stream the episodes on Second Life, my first though was to disable the stream instead of being rude and making a fuss. My sheer curiosity convinced me to have a look.

Whenever I experience something new, my approach is to compare it to material I was already familiar with. Like everyone else at the time, I connected Rainbow Dash with The Scout and Applejack with The Engineer. It wasn't much to build off of, but it was a start. But when Twilight walked up to the starting line with a "42" on her flank, that was it.

I knew in that moment there was no going back.


I didn't know what I was doing at first. I still don't. Type words into a box of text, they go on the screen, people respond. Whip up something in paint, put it online, people see it. Simple. Easy. No different than what everyone does in their daily lives. The only difference is that all of this was not being dedicated to solving problems in our world, rather it was an attempt (at first) to leave this world behind.

That suited me just fine. I didn't want to be here anyway.

Even so, I was just a guy setting off fireworks in his backyard. Occasionally someone would notice. The interactions were mundane, like M.A Larson retweeting a poster edit I made for the Season 3 finale, or me ribbing Michelle Creber about how her Canucks had yet to win one Stanley Cup while my Red Wings had won 11. But those were the rare exceptions; most of the time it was me and the same people I always watched the episodes with saying the same memes to each other again and again. You all know what they are.

But all of this kept me closer to things I never knew I wanted to be close to: writing, creating, art, a world that was both within my reach and beyond my imagination. It started as an interest, then it became a hobby and then an obsession.

I would never call it a job because that would be a disservice to the people who actually worked on this for a living.

But most of all, it was an escape. A show created to sell toys spawned another fandom wedged in between the weirdest parts of the internet. A marketing scheme bought into by many, but not for the reason it was created. We came for the writing, the songs, the jokes, the memes, the plot, or to simply belong.

For the longest time, it was the best way to live that I knew.


Season 1: We arrive in Equestria. It takes a while for everyone to get their footing. After the excitement with Nightmare Moon we settle into the most ordinary land of magical ponies that ever existed. The Grand Galloping Gala ends up being what none of us expected. Lauren Faust destroys dudebros on Deviantart. Equestria Girls is just a song that codifies "bronies."

Season 2: Discord arrives to give us everything we never knew we wanted. Twilight loses her goddamned mind. Luna torches a year's worth of woobie fanfiction. Derpy just didn't know what went wrong. Chrysalis becomes your waifu. Bronycon lands the voice cast. Alex S. makes Ken Ashcorp's beats 20% Cooler and then IBringDaLulz takes into the stuff of legend.

Season 3: Half the season is sacrificed to turn the ponies into humans. Twilight gets her wings. Discord returns and becomes a goody-one-shoe. Sunset Shimmer works her way into our hearts, we just don't know it yet. The fandom learns that what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas. Tumblr looks at the debacle that was Las Pegasus Unicon and says "Let's do that." Amazingly enough, Billy McFarland would later get the same idea. Fighting is Magic gets hit with the C&D. John De Lancie releases a documentary. The fandom Giddy Up'd all the same.

Season 4: A return to form. Weird Al gets into a polka duel with Pinkie Pie. Tirek returns and is defeated thanks to a product line that is never mentioned again. An OC causes everyone to question the extent to which Rule 34 should go. An 11-year old boy attempts suicide and the entire fandom rallies behind him. Ashleigh Ball releases a documentary.

Season 5: It begins and ends with WOW! Glimmer. Game of Thrones gets a shout out. Gilda returns to canonize years of woobie fanfiction. The 100th episode is a love letter to us. The Crusaders mark the 5th anniversary with the greatest cute-ceañera ever. Lena Hall is just a pony. The Hub becomes Discovery Family. 10,000 people descend on Bronycon. The Mane Six crash the Superbowl. The Ponies arrive in Source Filmmaker. One star on the shirt.

Season 6: Glimmer is either the best pony on the show or the worst. Dash becomes a wonderbolt. Patton Oswalt takes the first shot at the less level headed parts of the fandom. Chrysalis returns and the Changelings all don price tags. The Creator meets The Precursor. Two stars on the shirt.

Season 7: Starlight is on her own. Celestia and Luna trade places. The show fires a barrage of cruise missiles at the fandom. Felicia Day and William Shatner break the hearts of bronies everywhere. Twilight nearly destroys Equestria to save her idol. Trixie and Starlight make a case to have a show for themselves. The Movie gives us Tempest Shadow and Bird Pirate Queen.

Season 8: "Everypony" gradually becomes "everycreature." Celestia cannot act to save her life. Chrysalis goes off the deep end. Spitfire channels Chris Farley. Rachel Bloom brings the Kirin to life. What's to say that Cozy Glow plays the villain? The leaks become more and more frequent and everyone makes peace for the final act.

Season 9: It's the end of an age. The sisters step down. Grogar is Discord spelled backwards with all the wrong letters. The villains get stoned. Twilight ascends. Many moons pass by and the next generation arrives. The final Bronycon breaks all the records.

The best part about the show is that it never felt like it ended. It just faded out into a pause until the show inevitably returned the following season. Even when they didn't give us a starting date, we knew it was only a matter of time before our mares were back with us.

Death. Taxes. Ponies.


Friendship comes with a cost. Because friendship and harmony meant that I couldn't do this alone. Even going solo on SFM work would've been a practical impossibility. For one thing, people that are much better at this than I could ever hope to be showed up and if I'm being honest about it, I wouldn't have been able to get this far without them.

You all showed up as well and faved and commented. Some of you even paid me money to do this stuff. As amazing as this was, it wasn't a unique experience. This happened all over the fandom to an extent I've rarely seen repeated elsewhere. Even today the speed and scale at which this community blew up is incredible to me. True to the show's message, friendships formed that became lifelong bonds. Hell, some of you even had kids together. I truly can't comprehend that this show might be responsible for the existence of actual human beings.

Of course, nowadays things aren't as lively as they once were. Some of the most well known names of yesteryear have gone silent or fallen by the wayside. As bittersweet as that is, it doesn't surprise me in any way. When some have given their all, they stagger and fall. After all, it's not easy spending a decade bringing pastel-colored horses into the lives of others.

This picture in particular proved to be harder than I expected it to be. I struggled with the posing and arrangement of the characters. I went back and forth on their number; should I include more? Less? Did we really need Starlight and Sunset? And how would the post processing work?

In the end, simplicity won out. I went for a group shot of the magnificent nine and set it up to look like an old photograph. The message here is that 10 years is a long time for people, a lifetime for some. Long enough for the first photographs to fade, long enough to forget the simple things like the joys of spending Saturday mornings with your friends.

But we still remember all the same. It was no time at all for us.


There are so many people I want to thank. I can't possibly begin to list them all, so I assure you that if your name is not here then it is not due to any malice on my part.

Sym is a name known to almost none of you (and to those who think they know, you are mistaken), but without them I wouldn't be here. They were the ones who sent me their Gilda redemption fanfics that I agreed to read with the same nodding silence you usually employ to try and hush up a person who is going on about a topic you have no interest in. But if it wasn't for their insistence on streaming the show, I never would've seen Fall Weather Friends and started on my path that leads me to now. They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. Sym dragged me onto the trail until I resolved to walk on my own.


James_Corck is a name many of you know. Fate had us meet as furres but it was the ponies that made us brothers. His Inception crossover I read between classes is probably the greatest ponyfic you've never heard of. The fact that he's kept Movie Slate going through the death of tumblr (and, for that matter, movie theaters in general) is nothing short of astounding. I truly wish I could have even half of his dedication, let alone his artistic prowess. And Jamesy, if you are reading this, remember that I'm doing the Movie Slate updates for any 3D animated films. You don't have a choice.

I still don't know how RedRocket found me. I didn't really have any qualifications in terms of anthro SFM pics outside of refusing to use a certain body model for headhacking. Either way, his invitation to the Discord server that I still keep secret is what lead me to meeting some really great artists in the community. I had a front row seat for the development of what would become NexGen. Now I will attempt to repay them by bringing NexGen to Source 2, even if I have to drag it kicking and screaming.

I don't know how MonMonstar is going to react to me including them here, but their OC has always been a fave of mine. They were the one that got me to take anthro work seriously, not just in rendering pictures but in creating anthros as well. MonMon was the first OC ported to what would become NexGen and even today she's still my fave. She may not be a pony anymore (which is just fine with me as she makes one good looking shark), but her model still remains in my directory, if nothing else as a reminder of who gave me my start.

I was never close with IFly and I would never claim to have been. His loss affected me more than it probably should have, but it helped make the fandom more real for me. When I was looking at his OC and I realized I never got to ask him if I could use her for my art, and I would now never get the chance, it made me realize that a real person was gone. Gone far too soon for that matter. To this day his tribute picture is the hardest picture I've ever had to make in SFM and while Lavender Disquette will never be used again, she remains in my directory as an eternal memorial.

The loss of IFly lead me to Nyxie. I haven't really gotten to know them until recently, but they're an amazing artist in their own right and one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of meeting. The fact that their OC is my favorite batpony in the fandom doesn't hurt either. If you're reading this Nyxie, I know I can never be IFly, but I hope to be a good friend to you in my own right.

Scarlet Rose was always one of the people in the fandom that I considered to be "above" me. Not because they were an inherently better person than I was, but because I never saw any reason why someone like them would ever have a meaningful interaction with someone like me. Turns out that a lapdance on Second Life can change all of that. We never really connected until I ended up in the Radio Molly discord, but she quickly became one of my best friends in the fandom and a proper political sparring partner. I know it's hard to believe these days, but someone who is opposed to you politically but you can have an actual conversation with is one of the best relationships you can have. I still have yet to talk her into letting me do that thing she said I couldn't do, but someday I just might.

Swissy was half the reason I became a big fan of Chrysalis. Out of all the people I met on the Derpibooru forums, they were really one of only two I stayed connected with after all was said and done. Safe to say I made the right choice. Our paths have gone in vastly different directions in the intervening years, but I'm always ready to welcome them back if they ever wish to return.

I never cared much for the Twitter RP community. I don't like the limitations Twitter imposes and the fact that the profiles tend to be of lower quality than most. But over the past year or so I've met some incredible people. Whenever I talk with them, whether it's just passing the time or actually roleplaying, I feel like I've won the lottery. So here's to you; Twilight, Luna, Sunset, Rosie, Aeri, Frosty, Trixie and Chrysalis. You are all special to me in the very best of ways (even you, Chrys).

I said above the SFM community is diverse and I consider myself incredibly blessed to work with such amazing artists. Alcohors, MuhJobs, APSFM, Moonshine, Bwae, Devine, Jacob, RedRocket, PureNexus and the incredible NexGen dev team. You guys keep me going and drive me to improve my SFM craft with every render. And one of these days I'm going to own all of you at Beat Saber (especially you, Alco).

Then of course you have all the amazing artists who I admire that I know will never reciprocate the same feelings. From traditional painters to voice actors, animators to game designers. The writers of some of my favorite fanfics from My Little Dashie to Spectrum. Even Fallout: Equestria. I only wish that I could have half of your drive and your skills. You're the reason the fandom erupted in an explosion of creative energy I've never witnessed before and inspired so many others to follow in your stead. We truly stand on the shoulders of giants.

The show staff. From the head writers all the way to the VA's. You created this amazing world and these wonderful characters and brought them to life. We can only hope to continue where you left off.

Lauren. You were only with us for a couple years, but without you we'd be nowhere.

You. Whether this is the first pic you've seen from me or the 100th. Thank you.


The final lesson from the show is that friendship endures. I wanted to just escape by myself and I ended up as part of a herd. I wanted to create for myself and I ended up getting people who wanted to see more. I wanted to leave this world behind and I ended up right back here, with new friends at my side.

I wanted to take the good and ignore the bad, but that failed as well. As much as we want to pretend it doesn't exist, there is no separating the ugly parts of the fandom from the whole. There is no way to avoid good moments in bad times or bad moments in good times. There is no way to not look up to someone who will eventually disappoint you in every possible way. Once upon a time we felt Final Draft was one of our best and brightest. He turned out to be Final Draft. There will always be those like him.

Fortunately, they are now, have been and will probably continue to be in the minority.


These last 10 years have had many ups and downs. But most importantly; they've been a change. I don't think there isn't one person in this fandom that came out of this decade the same as they went in. Anyone who says they haven't changed or they can't change is lying to you on multiple levels. Not only do they assume that they can't change, but they presume that life will ultimately let them have a say in the matter.

The same can be said for this fandom. How the show and the fandom will be remembered in the long run is ultimately going to be up to people we've never met. We still owe it to ourselves to do what we can to ensure we're remembered fondly.

There are three songs that come to mind.

Discord 2019 is Odyssey's magnum opus. It is the final examination, the doctorial thesis, the culmination of all that has come before. It's a herald back to the early days of fandom music and the attitudes of the time, back when we couldn't conceive of anyone more dangerous and menacing than Discord. The fact that it was the final song of the final set in the final rave at the final Bronycon is nothing short of divine providence.

Solidarity by Princewhatever is the anthem of the end. Originally written to describe the anxiety of the middle of the show's run, when the fandom was going through its mid-life crisis, it finally fulfilled its purpose in the fall of 2019. The video map that was created was nothing short of a perfect encapsulation of the emotions we felt at the time and are still feeling now. If there are any historians 50 or 100 years from now and there's only one video left to describe this fandom, I hope it's that one.

The Magic of Friendship Grows was the perfect choice for the last song in the series. I can't even think of the song without getting choked up. If Discord is a culmination and Solidarity is a raging against the dying of the light, then this is our family telling us to let go. It's okay that it's over, because now it's time for the next adventure to begin. Don't be sad because it's over, be glad that it happened.


In the end, we move forward but these ponies stay with us. It's how we can still be churning out art and stories of these mares a decade later and nearly a full year after the end of the show. It's how not even a global pandemic can stop the fandom from holding conventions (even if virtually). It's how an entire discord server of people who swear up and down that they're on the verge of leaving the fandom will instantly respond to a Jackbox prompt with the names of their favorite ponies.

We are those who leave Equestria, but for whom Equestria will never leave.

If you've read this far, this is my testament to this decade of my life. It's long and wordy but then again, so was the show. It was big, bombastic, went on for too long and was incredibly manipulative when it wasn't being incredibly sincere. Falling in love with it is like falling in love with the fandom: passing through layers of irony, cynicism and self doubt until finally falling into genuine love.

It strikes me as ironic that this show happened during such a tumultuous decade here on Earth. It provided a glimmer of hope and optimism amongst the chaos and confusion in our lives. Perhaps that's why we miss it all the more. But we must remember that Twilight and her friends never expected others to save them; they took it upon themselves to save their own world. We must resolve to do the same.

Equestria is a fantasy, but it's the fantasy that we all work towards. It may elude us now, but that won't deter us. As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, tomorrow we shall run faster and stretch out our arms farther. And then one fine morning…

The spectacle may be over, but the embers still burn all the same. Even if they ultimately disappear, it will have all been worth it.


-Helios
October 10, 2020.