“Pineapple? On pizza?! Ugh!” Babs Seed jokingly gagged, making her disgust loud and clear for the whole neighborhood to hear. “I swear, livin’ on the west coast has totally changed you, cuz.”
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“Hey, don’t knock it til you try it. Remember how much you hated deep-dish before cousin Jonagold got you to try some?” Apple Bloom insisted, turning back towards her cousin as they continued their way to the Apple family home.
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“Hey, look. Not for nothin’, but if you ever get that crap anywhere near me, fuggedaboutit! I’m hoppin’ on the next bus back to the airport. And that goes double for freakin’ broccoli!” Babs chuckled.
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After the half-hour wait Apple Bloom had to endure at the bus stop, the walk back to the house felt like it passed by like a breeze. With someone as fast-talking as Babs Seed around, it didn’t seem long before they were already coming up on the walkway. Babs was especially thankful she didn’t have to roll her heavy luggage around any longer.
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As she followed her cousin up to the door, however, she quickly found that dragging her wheeled suitcase up the rickety steps of the front porch was going to be a bit of trouble. “Hey, help me out here, will ya? This thing weighs a ton!”
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“Oh, right. I gotcha!” Leaving the front door wide open, Apple Bloom quickly rushed down the steps and lifted the luggage from one side while Babs lifted from the other. The two girls grunted as heaved the hefty case into the house and onto the the hardwood floor. “What the heck’s in this thing, anyway?”
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“Just stuff I need for hairdressin’. I’ve been into this kinda stuff, you know,” Babs explained as she blew her hair out of her eyes. “Thanks for the help, by the way.”
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“No problem. But now you owe me a pineapple pizza when we hit the food court later,” Apple Bloom winked as she shut the door behind her.
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“Pfft, whatever,” Babs scoffed. “Speakin’ of the mall, what time we goin’?”
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“As soon as I can get a ride. I was gonna ask Big Mac, but he’s outta town all day at a farmer’s market. Granny Smith too.”
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“Now that I’m fine with,” Babs sighed with relief. “I’m tellin’ ya. She’s gonna be on my ass all week callin’ me foul-mouthed or some shit like that.”
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“Gee, I wonder why.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and laughed, thinking about the lengths she had to go through to convince Granny Smith to let Babs visit for a whole week. Though there were a lot of chores she had to agree to, she knew it’d be worth the effort.
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“What about Applejack?”
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“Oh, maybe. She’s got a date with Rarity later, but she might have time to drop us off.”
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“Rarity?” Babs was surprised to hear this at first until she remembered. “Oh, yeah. Your sister’s queer now, ain’t she?”
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“Oh, well… I don’t think she actually likes usin’ that word very much,” Apple Bloom quickly pointed out, almost reluctant to even bother correcting her guest.
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But Babs didn't mind at all, even chuckling sheepishly. “Oh, my bad, I just thought since Scootaloo was okay with it…”
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“Yeah, but you know how Scootaloo is,” Apple Bloom shrugged. “She’s pretty laid back with that sorta stuff.”
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Suddenly grinding their conversation to a stop, Applejack’s voice rang out and echoed from upstairs. “Apple Bloom? Babs? You down there?”
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“Yeah, it’s us!” Apple Bloom called back as she leaned against the banister, “We actually wanted to ask you somethin’.”
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“Sure! But, uh… can y’all do me a favor first?”
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Sensing a bit of desperation in her sister’s voice, Apple Bloom sighed as she rushed her way up. “Dang it. Not again.”
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“Again?” Babs wondered as she followed close behind.
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She didn’t have to wait long to get her answer. For as soon as she and Apple Bloom made it upstairs, she was able to see her big cousin, Applejack. Emphasis on big. Sure, she had already known about her cousin’s weight problems. She had even seen her carrying around the excess bulk like it was nothing. And yet, Babs still couldn’t believe what she was looking at. Watching her massively obese cousin struggling to fit though her own bedroom door was like watching one of those trashy reality TV shows. But to actually see someone this big in person, especially someone in her own family? It was a lot to take in.
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“Whoa, nelly!” Babs blurted out, far too overwhelmed to keep it to herself. “A-are you okay?!”
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“She’s fine. She’s just stuck… again!” Apple Bloom tried to assure despite her scathing facepalm.
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“Sorry! I just didn’t want to be late seein’ Rarity,” Applejack blushed with embarrassment as she still tried to push herself through. “So I was tryin’ to hurry through the door instead of squeezin’ through sideways.”
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“Wait, hold up!” As she stepped in closer, Babs was still trying to process the whole situation, barely holding back her laughter. “So, this is like a regular thing around here?”
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“Somethin’ like that,” Apple Bloom stated flatly.
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“Can you just pull me through already?” Applejack bemoaned, now pleading with her sister.
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“Only if you promise to drive us to the mall.”
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“Whatever you want! Just get me out of here!”
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“Fine," the younger sister agreed before looking towards her cousin. "Help me out here, will ya, Babs?”
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“Nah, I’m gonna get my phone real quick so I can get a picture,” Babs said, still laughing to herself as she wiped away a happy tear. However, looking up to the faces of her disgruntled cousins, she quickly tried to change her tune. “Don’t worry! I’ll get some butter too while I’m down there. And then badda-bing, badda-boom! We can slip her out! Just as long as she hasn’t eaten it all. Ain’t that right, big cuz?” Giving a playful elbow jab to AJ’s fat gut, Babs hurried downstairs to search through her luggage.
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Annoyed, Applejack just sighed. “Happy to see you too, Babs.”
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-
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Applejack — 746 lbs