>Anonymous wrote
>Johnalex Eggelstonbert
N.. no… NO! Absolutely not!

There is something far too… royal about that name. Something that strikes fear in your soul.

You’ve never understood why princesses scare you. Maybe it’s those tiaras – jagged rims glistening like vorpal fangs burst forth from their pony skull, a vestigial maw seeking to devour any so unfortunate to find themselves upon it. Maybe it’s their manes – an ocean of glittering fibers dragged behind them like the vicious tendrils of an unholy carnivorous plant. Maybe it’s their very expression – the way it oozes that solemn, dutiful dedication to their country.

“Scare” might even be too weak a word. Dukes terrify you, as do Dames, Counts, and Barons. But Kings, Queens, Princesses… you don’t know what you’d do if you ever found yourself face-to-face with one. Probably curl up and cry.