“i wish i could love you, like you want me to.”

—-


for their first child, rd volunteered to carry the child. it was meant to be an easy one, and it was for the most part. little to no pains, aches were hardly noticeable, and things were basically a dream for any expecting parents. except for the fact that rainbow began experiencing depressive episodes that manifested unlike any other.

weeks at a time, rainbow would be bed ridden and exhausted from hormones that seemed to weigh them down like a stone. and flutters would do her best to attend to their declining mental health, but nothing would truly help.

the two had hoped that after the birth, rd would improve. but that just didn’t seem to happen, in fact it worsened even more so for quite a while.

when golden hour was brought into the world, everyone anticipated the arrival of their first born to brighten the colorful pegasus. but instead, a gloom fell upon rainbow. they did not feel that love that one would describe for the moment they laid eyes on their foal. they did not experience that. flood of joy that ponies would claim to be near euphoric.

rd could feel nothing but an emptiness that was once there for their baby.

it took a long time, nearly two years before rd could begin to feel anything for goldie. and even then, the two‘s connection would always feel strained in some way. and thankfully, for their other children, fluttershy would choose to carry them. and the incident never repeated.